Beat the Summer, Mom Stress!
We can take it down a notch; summer doesn't have to be this stressful.
We have a routine down; school months are usually the same song and dance with a few twists and turns here and there. But for some reason, when summertime comes knocking, everything changes. Moms everywhere are trying to balance a new routine while reminiscing over the loss of the summers they once had. It can be hard to keep the kids busy and shuttle them from activity to activity while remaining present between work and home.
I used to feel the same way as I would shove my mom guilt down during the school year under the theme of “education” or “socialization” for my kids. It was more tolerable that way as they had “work” to do, and so did I. But, as the summer approached, the stress reared its ugly head as I was last-minute scrambling to find summer camps, daycare or anyone who could fit into my work schedule with minimal disruption. So, why couldn’t I stay home and enjoy the summer too?
Summer doesn’t have to be this hard. Once I dealt with my own emotions and beliefs about summer and what it meant to me, I was able to refocus my energy around being present with my girls and having fun when I got home.
How do you beat the summer mom stress?
We have first to explore why we feel it’s so stressful; this is part of that emotional intelligence piece I speak of so much called self-awareness. When coaching clients, I often see working moms trying to relive their youth of summer past or forget that their parents worked and how lonely they felt. Our guilt and stress come from a rooted issue; it’s our job not to project these triggers onto our children.
Here are a few ways to beat the summer mom stress:
- First, ask for help:
Don’t be afraid to ask your partner, friends or family for help. It takes a village to raise children, and sometimes we need all the help we can get. Asking for help is not a sign of weakness; it’s a sign that mom has her shit together and could use an extra hand!
- Don’t Overschedule:
Pick a few things and make them unique; quality over quantity is always better for your kids. Remember, if you are overscheduling them, you are overscheduling yourself. Summer doesn’t have to be jammed packed to have fun, and simple things can be just as great.
- Let them be bored:
I have said it a thousand times, in today’s day and age, we are so worried about our children being bored. Yet, boredom is the birthplace of creativity. Give your kids some time to be, and explore their likes and dislikes. It will do wonders for the imagination. I find this to be a big one in my trauma clients: they have to be busy, and relaxation is lazy and unproductive, which we then project onto our children, and the cycle continues.
- Have fun and STOP sweating the small stuff:
This is a big one; balancing careers and home life often gets caught up in RBF (resting bitch face) mode so that we can no longer enjoy ourselves. This used to be me, too; if I weren’t serious enough, all hell would break loose, and if I didn’t have control over every detail, I would spiral out so fast. This is where we have to stop and self-access. Who cares if little Sara runs into the house with her popsicle dripping on the hardwoods or sits at the dinner table with wet hair from swimming? Those things can be mopped, cleaned quickly with a baby wipe or air-dried. What can’t be replaced is the laughter with little Sara, the endorphin release alone will be of more benefit than yelling at her for screwing up or that she created a mess you more than likely will have to clean up. Enjoy the moment!
- Plan meals in advance:
Meal planning can help alleviate some stress during the summer months. If you have a plan for dinner, you won’t have to stress last minute. One of my mom hacks is to meal prep on Sundays with my girls for the week- we grill a ton of meat/veggies, so come dinner time, the only thing left is what side we will have. This allows for flexibility in meals but also, I get time back in my week to maybe plan something else.
- Momma, pool days are not lazy days:
That extra Vitamin D will do you some good, girl! Pool days are a great way to relax and have fun. Take a good book with you or if you HAVE to get some work done, take your laptop or papers and sit in the sun. I promise you will feel much better afterwards. 30 mins minimum is my go-to! Plus, the kids get to let off some steam and wear themselves out😊
- BE PRESENT:
I know this can be a challenge when balancing an already unbalanced summer schedule, but remember these moments go by quickly. We only have 18 summers until our kiddos are grown and off to college. So schedule some vacation time or a personal day and walk away, enjoy yourself and be that young girl you used to be.
There is no right or wrong, is there?
There is no right or wrong when being a mom; just doing your best. I know it sounds cliché’, but when I was sick and bedridden for two years, my kids never once complained of boredom or not being out like the other kids. Instead, they remembered me watching movies, painting nails and spending quality time with them. It was one of the biggest lessons I learned; more isn’t always better. We had more fun doing the small things than paying obscene money on the “big” items.
So, when you begin to doubt yourself or feel the stress piling on. STOP, pull back and ask yourself, where is this coming from?
Why do I feel so stressed, and what can I do to change my perspective around this, right here, right now!
These simple tools will be shared in our HOT MOM SUMMER 3-day brunch series---where we will get like-minded moms who want their HOT SUMMER back without all the guilt and stress!
Come share in the fun, prizes and education with us- register at www.amindsetbydesign.com/mombrunch
Are you coming??